Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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