I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
