someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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