I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
