I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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