I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
