oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
