Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize