I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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