I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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