Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
please come you make the beer taste better
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
