So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
