Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
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I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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