I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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