It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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