you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
