Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
