When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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