It's Friday. Sex?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
