I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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