How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
