talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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