Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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