Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
