tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
