drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
