Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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