I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
