your room smells of hookers.
And success
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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