Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
