Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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