Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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