god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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