Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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