He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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