that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
