this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
