with your own penis?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize