I love having hate sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
