My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
