I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
