Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
