We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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