Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
