Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
where are my eyebrows?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
