I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You ate ashes out of my bong
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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