Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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