this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
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I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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