I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
