Non-Jews are for practice
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
