The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
