john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize