just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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