My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
