I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He passed out mid-signature
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize