what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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