Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
