Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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