Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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