You can't motorboat a personality
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
