Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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