He kissed a someone with a penis
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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