You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
